How to Help Your Sick College Freshman
What can you do to help your sick freshman? She’s miserably sick, again. You don’t want to overreact, but you also don’t want to see her suffer. How can you help?
Many freshmen struggle with sickness off and on most of their first year. For many of them, this is their first time being sick away from home. Your freshman probably misses having you take care of her, because you do such a good job.
Helping your freshman deal with being sick is hard. You want to help, but you’re not sure how to do this from far away. Why is your freshman continually sick and what should and shouldn’t you do about it?
Why is your freshman sick at college so often?
Your freshman may seem to be perpetually sick. Whether it’s the cold or something worse, she has a perpetual cough or a stuffy nose. Every time you talk to your freshman, she seems to have developed an additional illness.
Because you’re not there to help, you may feel entirely helpless. You want to be able to take of her, because you know that being sick away from home is miserable for anyone. So, why is she sick so often?
Your freshman is often sick at college due to many factors. Joanna Nesbit, writer for the Washington Post, compares frequently being sick at college to the time your child was in preschool. Because she was exposed to many different children and germs, your child would often get sick. Your child is experiencing this same phenomenon but now as a freshman college student.
Being exposed to new germs is possibly due to other college students’ and your freshman’s lack of good “hygiene.” Tight quarters in the dorms and campus classrooms help the common cold, the flu, and even mono to spread quickly. Washing her hands frequently, using hand sanitizer, and not sharing food or beverages go a long way to preventing illness.
Your freshman may be frequently sick due to lack of sleep. Even if your freshman is careful about getting sleep, she’s likely still sleep deprived. Her busy schedule makes it difficult for her to get more than 6 hours of sleep each night, but if she prioritizes sleep more she could probably be rid of her cold.
Your freshman may be frequently sick due to poor eating habits. With a packed schedule, she rarely gets more than 2 meals a day and likely has to skip breakfast or lunch. Your freshman probably eats whenever she has the chance, not only because she’s stressed but also because social events often revolve around eating. A carb-and-sugar-heavy diet may be delicious but does not help her immune system. Limiting her sugar intake and increasing her vegetable and fruit intake can help her boost her immune system.
Your freshman is probably sick due to lack of exercising. Every evening is filled with hours of homework. Even the idea of having time to exercise probably seems absurd to your child. However, irregular or lack of any exercise does not help her fight off the sickness infiltrating her college campus.
Even a healthy, well-rested freshman struggles to avoid sickness at college. So, how can you help?
What should you refrain from doing?
Because you care deeply for your freshman, you’re probably tempted to swoop in and save the day. You want your freshman to be healthy, so she can tackle her schoolwork. If you don’t live far away, you will gladly drive the distance to assist her. But, is this assistance really best for your freshman?
Dropping everything to come take care of your ill freshman sends a message to her: she’s not capable or knowledgeable enough to take care of herself. Even if you feel helpless, refrain from handling your freshman’s illness for her. While she may be inexperienced with nursing herself back to health, college is the time for her to develop the skills and know-how.
If your freshman is more independent, she may not even tell you when she gets sick. You may be tempted to take this personally, but don’t. Your child’s goal is probably not to say “I don’t need you anymore” but rather “I can do this myself.” You are still needed in your freshman’s life, but letting go may require you to overlook your freshman withholding that she was sick.
Because your freshman is no longer a minor, you cannot access her health records or talk to the physician about your child’s illness without her permission. You also cannot talk to the resident staff about your child’s illness without permission. At this point, you will need to communicate with your child, not a clinic or the school. If you are deeply concerned about your freshman’s safety or immediate well-being, call her resident director or supervisor.
Your freshman is lucky to have a parent that cares so deeply. Wanting to help is an applaudable, because your care shows how deeply you are invested and involved in your freshman’s life.
What should you do?
When your college freshman is sick, hearing encouragement or getting some guidance can make all the difference. Even though you did not do anything for her, taking to you will make her feel a little better.
If you normally call once a week to check-in, try calling a few times more to check on your sick freshman. Hearing your voice and allowing her to talk to someone after being stuck in her dorm room will help her feel better, because being sick at college can be very lonely.
My junior year of college was an incredibly busy time of the school year with work, school, and rehearsals for a production. Then suddenly on one day I got the stomach flu, which was awful. I was moved to an empty room to prevent germs from spreading, but I didn’t have many friends come by and visit. While I didn’t blame them for avoiding the stomach bug, I did feel pretty lonely after a few days. Talking to people on the phone helped me not feel so alone.
When you talk to your freshman, encourage her to get plenty of rest. Your freshman is probably incredibly sleep-deprived and needs to catch up on her rest. If your freshman only has the common cold, getting more sleep can be difficult. She still has to juggle her regular responsibilities but now while fitting a cold. Although this is painful to watch, learning to keep going is an important skill for her to learn.
When you talk to your freshman, encourage her to drink plenty of fluids and eat well. If your freshman hasn’t made many friends at college, this can be difficult. If your freshman’s roommate is not particularly helpful, this is even more difficult. Sending care packages full of easy-fix meals like ramen noodles or instant oatmeal can really come in handy on these days. Feel free to contact the resident assistant if your freshman needs assistance with getting food.
Most importantly, use your best judgment. You know your freshman pretty well, which means you know if she is downplaying how sick she truly is or if she is being overly dramatic. Try to be discerning but let her make the call.
Give advice and help where you can, but let her make her own health decisions. If she doesn’t want to go to the doctor, even though you’ve told her she should, that is her call. She can successfully take care of herself, even while she’s sick in college.
