Why Second Semester Is a Fresh Start for College Parents Too
This next semester is a chance for you (yes you) and your freshman to have a fresh start. The college schedule allows your freshman to start over with new classes, (mostly) new teachers, and a blank slate. But did you realize that this new semester provides you with a fresh start too?
At the start of this new year, you may have goals or plans for the months ahead. As a parent, you likely have some parenting goals: listen more, provide more, etc. Before completing that list of resolutions or goals, consider these ways in which you have an opportunity to start anew and start better prepared as a college parent.
You know better what to expect of your freshman’s dorm life.
Leaving your new college freshman in his dorm room at the beginning of the first semester was challenging. You didn’t know exactly what to expect from that day, but now you know better.
Your freshman has lived with his first college roommate(s) and survived. Though he has experienced challenges, this time has been a growing experience.
Your concerns about dorm life have slightly subsided, because now you know your child can handle it. You’ve learned to worry less and trust more. Even if he makes mistakes, you know he has the ability and wisdom to make the right choices.
As your child prepares to return for second semester, you have a chance to start again better prepared to face the “unknowns” of dropping off a child a college.
You know better what to expect of your freshman’s grades.
At first your freshman’s grades may have concerned you. When you have chatted with him on the phone, the spotty information you received seemed alarming. His grades may have been lower than you or he expected.
You now understand this change in grades is a part of the adjustment. College classes require more concentrated work than most high school classes (Your freshman learned this last semester.).
In addition to classwork, your freshman had to learn to balance his personal care (eating, exercising, etc.), working a part-time job, and a social life. Both you and he know that the worst part of this transition is over.
Second semester will be filled with unique academic hurdles, tough teachers, and learning challenges. This next semester may or may not look much like first semester, but your freshman can handle it because he has learned to advocate for himself.
You know better what to expect of communication from your freshman.
No matter how much you pleaded, reminded, or hassled your freshman last semester, he may have gone to the extremes with communication with you. Calling way too much or way too little, your freshman struggled to find the balance on keeping you in the loop.
At first this adjustment may have been (and may still be) challenging. You’ve learned to adjust to knowing way too much or way too little about his day-to-day life. Hopefully, your freshman has also probably learned that he needs to meet you in the middle.
Before your child packs his bags for college, be sure to communicate clearly what you expect when it comes to phone calls and text messages. Having a face-to-face discussion about both of your preferences and finding the middle ground will go a long way in helping you have a healthy relationship with your freshman from day one.
You know better what to expect of the separation from your freshman.
If you are now an empty-nester, leaving your child at college has been an incredible adjustment. (In many ways you may feel you’ve entered a new stage of life.) Saying goodbye at the beginning of first semester ways agonizing; at Thanksgiving, tearful. Will this next goodbye be anything different?
The second-semester goodbye is different. You know what the separation is like. You know what to expect. The adjustment is less of an unknown haze, and there will be ways in which you are excited to have your house and schedule back to yourself. (And by the way, this doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent.)
This separation will be over before you know it. You may have a chance to visit with your freshman, and your freshman may have a chance to see you on spring break. Time will go by quickly, and your freshman will continue to grow into the successful adult you dreamed he would be.
You know more now. You’re ready for a new start. Let this semester be the one in which you have more realistic expectations for yourself and your freshman. After all, you can have a fresh start at the beginning of the semester too.
