What Your College Freshman Learns During First Semester
What did your freshman learn during first semester? Not only does your freshman have a new-found appreciation for home-cooked food, but she also realizes how expensive gasoline and groceries are. Although your freshman may never directly state this, she now realizes just how difficult “adulting” is.
On her arrival home for the holiday break, your freshman will want to share everything and nothing that happened—although much has changed she may not know how to express this life-transforming time of the semester. Before you begin discussions about bills for next semester, changes in a major, or her new beliefs and convictions, stop and take some time to reflect.
This first semester of college is probably one of the hardest semesters your college student will have. Going into the second semester, your freshman is much more prepared for the realities of college life and academics because she has learned these 5 important lessons.
4 Things Your Freshman Learned During First Semester
Lesson #1: Making friends takes time.
Unless she came to college with multiple friends, your freshman probably learned firsthand how difficult it is to make friends. Your freshman likely struggled with loneliness and maybe even homesickness throughout the semester.
Making friends in this new setting is difficult for many students, and your child is not alone in wanting to come home often or in asking you to visit often. Her frequent calls home signaled to you that this time that should be filled with opportunities to meet new people, form new friendships, and have new experiences was not easy to start.
Finding her “people” takes time, and forming close, even lifelong friendships may not happen for a few more semesters. This time is teaching your freshman that she needs to stick her neck out, try new things, and keep doing the right things.
Your freshman will make friends at college, even if she hasn’t made any close ones this first semester. This time of adjustment is helping her develop skills she will need when she moves out on her own. Because, as you well know, making friends takes practice too.
Lesson #2: College is harder than high school but in unexpected ways.
You knew college would be an adjustment, and your freshman likely did too. But after being at college for a semester, your freshman has a much better idea of what this adjustment is like.
Your freshman likely thought the hardest part of college would be the classes or living away from home, but college is harder than high school in more than these two ways. Here are some adjustments she has had to make:
Time management is likely one of your freshman’s biggest struggles. Even if your freshman was exceptionally prepared for college, balancing school, work, health, and a social life on her own has been challenging. She has learned that she cannot say yes to most opportunities (like she did in high school). She has learned that she cannot put off an important assignment until the night before and get the grade she wants.
Self-advocacy is likely a new muscle your freshman is developing. Teachers and student care staff are not likely to reach out to her. She has learned she has to take the initiative, send the email, send the text, etc.. She has learned that teachers will not reach out to her if her grades are poor. She has learned her advisors are not likely to guide her unless she asks for advice.
Managing her health is likely a new experience for your freshman too. Before college, you were there to provide helpful reminders, buy her dinner, tell her to go to bed, etc. At college, she has had to make her own guidelines. She has realized that chugging coffee all day doesn’t help her sleep well or focus in class. She has learned that staying up all night for days seriously impacts her academically and emotionally. She has learned that eating loads of carbs leads to weight gain and low energy.
College is difficult, but your freshman now knows how difficult it truly is. She will continue to learn more and more, but the biggest adjustment is over and now she can use her new-found knowledge to form better habits.
Lesson #3: Communication is key.
Your freshman has realized just how important communicating early and often is. Sending your calls to voicemail time and again, essentially ghosting you, did not go over well. Your freshman is probably finally starting to realize just how important communication is to you.
Your freshman has also realized how failing to email back a professor or text back a peer makes her look. While you may be more patient with her lack of communication, your freshman’s peers and teachers are less understanding.
Your freshman has also realized that communicating early helps her get the help she needs to be successful in school and helps her avoid conflict with roommates. She has learned that saying something at the start helps prevent blow-ups, bad grades, and misunderstandings.
Your freshman has realized that communicating often helps her maintain and strengthen relationships with friends and significant others. Learning to be honest and open, speaking face-to-face, and making time for important relationships are just a few of the ways in which she has learned to be more communicative.
Lesson #4: Living away from home is hard.
Doing laundry, eating breakfast, and buying groceries take much more time than your freshman realized. The once-thought annoying habits of siblings are now missed by your freshman. Having access to transportation or having a person to take care of her when she is sick means so much more now.
Your freshman has finally realized all that you do for her. Before college, your child had no idea that cleaning dishes was such a pain. Now, your freshman realizes just how many sacrifices you make for her on a daily basis. She has a new-found appreciation for everything you provide you.
Your freshman realizes how deeply you and your family know and love her. Although she may enjoy having some space to herself, she is grateful to have a family to come home to over break. The longer she has been away from home, the more she appreciates everything you do. Even if she won’t admit it, she is looking forward to seeing you over winter break.
Your college experience was probably slightly different than your freshman’s experience, but regardless you knew this time would be an adjustment. Your freshman has started to experience this adjustment for herself. Everything and everyone was new, but your freshman has learned to adjust. Now she knows for herself what college is like.
