My College Freshman Never Calls: Why Your Timing Might Be the Problem
When it comes to calling home, every freshman is different. One freshman struggles with calling too frequently, while another struggles to call a parent at all. As a college parent, you’re happy to hear from your freshman either way.
In desperation to hear from your freshman, you may take all initiative in contacting your freshman. However, you may still find your freshman fails to call home. Even if you leave a voicemail or send a text, your freshman may not get back with you.
While this experience can be frustrating and slightly hurtful, take a step back to consider your timing. Your freshman may not be calling or responding to your calls due to when you contact her.
Certain times usually work better for your freshman to talk. Below are some general guidelines to help you find the best time to communicate with your freshman.
The Worst Times to Call Your Freshman
In general, these are usually bad times to contact your freshman. Even if she wants to talk to you, she likely feels too stressed or tired to give you her full attention. Avoid calling (and maybe even texting) during these times if you want her to pick up the phone.
Sunday nights
This time of the week is usually one of the absolute worst times to call. Why?
Your freshman may be scrambling to prepare for her Monday classes. If she struggles with time management, she needs this night to complete homework that should’ve been finished over the weekend.
Your freshman may be soaking up time with friends. If she wants to socialize, the weekends are usually the best time to meet up with people, go to coffee shops, and explore her college city.
Your freshman may also be preparing for the week ahead. If your freshman needs to do laundry, tidy her room, or get some extra rest, Sunday night may be her only chance before the chaos of Monday morning arrives.
Instead of calling on this usually busy night, consider putting off your call until Monday. Your freshman will likely be in a better mood and have a better feel for what she’s facing this week in college.
Weekday mornings
This entirely depends on your freshman’s class schedule, but usually the weekday mornings are key times for your freshman. Before you call, pause and consider if your freshman may need this time for the following tasks.
Your freshman may need the extra rest. While you wish she would go to bed at a more reasonable hour, she may be planning to sleep in to make up for the sleep she missed.
Your freshman may need to finish some last-minute homework. Maybe she should’ve worked ahead, but she needs that extra 20 minutes to finish a reading assignment.
Weekday mornings probably are not the best times to call your freshman, at least not if you want a meaningful conversation. Consider delaying your call until later in the day so that your freshman has the time to update you fully.
During meal times
This may be the time that you are most free, but meal times are usually bad times to connect with your freshman. She needs this time, even if she wishes she could talk to you.
Your freshman may use this time to socialize with friends. I vividly remember semesters where my meals were some of the only available times in my schedule for socializing. I treasure these thirty-minute meals with friends.
Your freshman may use this time to finish homework. The last-minute homework that needs to be completed before her afternoon classes can only be done during her free hour at lunch. If she answers your call, she may not finish on time.
Consider delaying your calls until after normal meal times. Your freshman will appreciate your better timing.
The Best Times to Call Your Freshman
Your freshman has preferences when it comes to communicating with you. Your freshman can likely identify what times work best in her schedule for a quick check-in from mom or dad. So why not ask her?
Asking her about what times work for your phone calls helps her to see you are considering her schedule and you respect her schedule. Even though your personal schedule is chaotic, taking the time to work around her schedule shows your thoughtfulness. Below are some general times that may work for your freshman:
During the afternoon
The afternoon is really your freshman’s midpoint in the day. Between the afternoon and going to bed is when she completes most of her work.
This is the time of the day she likely has more control over in her schedule. But before calling, consider texting first to check if she is free to talk.
In between classes
When walking or commuting from class to class, your freshman likely has at least five minutes to spare. These short blocks of time are golden opportunities for you or your freshman to make a quick phone call. Ask your freshman if these times work for her.
Your freshman may function entirely different than the typical freshman, but these best and worst times are generally accurate for the average college freshman.
Before you attempt a call to your sometimes uncommunicative freshman, consider asking her what works for her. You may be surprised to see how much your timing makes a difference.
