Now that your freshman is home, how is she really doing? Both happy and sad, your freshman may not have fully processed how she feels about her semester being cut short. With the suspension of in-person classes, your freshman is likely not sure what to expect.

Right now, your child’s life is filled with lots of uncertainty and loss. Her life is also filled with gain: homemade meals, more time to sleep, etc. This bittersweet feeling can be exhausting for an already exhausted college freshman.

So what is your freshman currently experiencing? Below are several realities which your freshman is currently facing.

Reality #1: A loss of independence

Your freshman had settled into her own groove at college. She had established her own habits, schedule, and preferences. Now that she is home, all this has changed.

Please be considerate of her desire to be alone or stick to her own schedule. Do your best to help her ease back into life at home, giving her time and space to adjust to being dependent again.

Reality #2: A sudden move

Your freshman certainly didn’t expect to be home for the rest of the semester. She also didn’t expect to have to remove all of her belongings from the dorms into storage and/or a vehicle. No part of this move was expected.

Your freshman may need time to process the move. She may procrastinate unpacking due to having a hard time accepting this is her new reality. Try to be patient and understanding.

Reality #3: An unexpected expense

Moving back home, securing storage, paying for the trip home, and losing her college job were not part of your freshman’s plan. For a financially strapped college student, these expenses may literally wipe out her checking and savings accounts. Your freshman, as a result, may feel very stressed.

Assure your freshman you will help her in this time of financial transition. If you cannot afford to help financially, do all you can to help her find some means of income. This will provide some stability in this unstable time.

Reality #4: A challenging academic situation

While your freshman may have taken a few online classes at a time in the past, she never took 5 or more at once. Additionally, your freshman likely went to college to get in-person instruction. This is a new and difficult challenge.

Your freshman may need some accountability. At the least, she may need help getting into a schedule. However, she may not be open to help. This is a difficult situation for you as a parent, because your attempts to provide needed help may come across as hovering or nagging.

When in doubt, ask how you can help and if your advice is wanted. Try to make success easy for her. Make the home and family schedule easy for her to find places to watch classes and do homework.

Reality #5: A lack of face-to-face contact

Your freshman made good friends at college. She spent hours each day eating, talking to, and studying with these friends. She also built in-person relationships with instructors, advisors, dorm staff, etc.

Having to communicate almost entirely over social media, texting, videos, emails, etc. will be different. She may often find herself frustrated with the lack of face-to-face interaction. Encourage her that this is temporary and to make the best of it.

Reality #6: A new environment

Home isn’t new, but it might feel new to your freshman. Your freshman isn’t used to being home for this length of time at this point in her college semester. Coming home this way feels like starting over in many ways.

Your freshman feels uncertain about how you’ll treat her and how you’ll interact with her. She may anticipate you have the same or different expectations of her.

Take some time to consider what you will expect of her and clearly communicate these expectations to her. The less left unsaid, the easier it will be for her to understand her role.

Reality #7: A lack of college opportunities

Your freshman was looking forward to being a part of her extracurriculars. She enjoyed meeting new people who loved the same things. She liked having the opportunities to get involved. Now, all of these opportunities are gone.

Acknowledge these disappointments as being very real and significant in your freshman’s life. These opportunities will likely be available next semester, but that reality doesn’t make this loss any less disappointing.

Reality #8: A weird normal

Being at home while taking classes will be weird. Your freshman mentally grasps this, but the reality of finishing courses online while at home will take time to grasp practically.

If your freshman seems “off,” “isolated,” or “moody,” realize that this time is difficult for your freshman. She may be “stuck in a funk” for a while, but eventually she will adapt.

Reality #9: A plethora of unknowns

This time is full of uncertainty. Your freshman will have little to no control over the future, just like she had little control over this virus shutting college campuses down.

Being ok with a lack of clarity may exhaust your freshman. Your freshman may need time to adjust physically, emotionally, and mentally. Give her space to think and talk about how she’s processing the change.

Being home again feels weird. Knowing what she is experiencing can provide you clarity on how to help. Be patient, understanding, and give her space. She will bounce back. She may simply need some extra love in this time.